Bill Bartmann


Self esteem is your opinion of your self. A high self esteem is a good opinion; a low self esteem is a bad opinion. You self esteem can be affected by several aspects of your life.

• Your Job: Do you feel your job is important? Do others respect what you do? Do you?

• Success: Do you think you are successful

• Self-image: How do you see yourself?

• Strentghs & Weaknesses: How do feel about your strengths and weaknesses?

• Social Status: What do you think of your social status? How do others relate to you? How do you relate to others?

• Decisions: Can you make your own decisions? Do you feel good about your choices?

Low Self-Esteem

Low self esteem comes from a poor self-image. How you see yourself is your self image. Do you see yourself as being a good person? Are you reliable, hardworking, honest and trustworthy? Are you a good friend?

How do you feel about your job? Do you like your job? Do you value your work and does it give you satisfaction?

Low self esteem is fed by negative thinking which causes you to lose confidence in yourself. It is vital that you put a stop to negative thinking and don’t believe all the negative things other say.

High Self-Esteem

High self esteem is the complete opposite. If you have high self esteem, you have a good self-image. You’re a happy, confident person with high motivation and the right attitude to succeed in meeting your goals.  

With a high self esteem, you are able to admit to your mistakes without feeling that you have failed. You meet challenges head-on and improve where necessary.

Your self esteem affects how you think, act and relate to others. It affects you potential to succeed and to feel satisfied with yourself and your accomplishments. It affects you happiness and well-being.

Measuring Your Self Esteem

How high is your self esteem? Below are ten points about self-image. Read each point and answer True or False to each one as it relates to how you see yourself. The more you can answer as being 100% true, the higher your self esteem is.

• I accept myself as I am; I am happy with myself

• I feel valued and needed; I deserve love and respect

• I enjoy socializing; I make friends easily

• I can openly admit my mistakes and have no problem accepting criticism

• I don’t hide my feelings; I speak up for myself, my views and my opinions

• I don’t worry about what others think; don’t need their approval to feel good

• I’m a happy person

• I can express myself without feeling guilty

• I don’t feel others are more fortunate than me

• I have nothing to hide; I can be myself

The better your self-image; the higher your self-esteem, the better you are able to cope with the ups and downs of life. Everyone has times where they feel low; you may even have moments of feeling hopeless and depressed. Your self image affects the way you cope with the down times and your ability to bounce back.

Bill Bartmann has had his share of ups and downs in his life; he has felt depressed, hopeless, like he has failed. He wouldn’t be human if he never experienced these feelings. The difference with Bill Bartmann was that he was able to redirect his thinking, lose the negative attitude and bounce back. Read Bill Bartmann’s Story and learn more about coping and bouncing back when things go wrong http://activerain.com/blogs/billbartmann

Sacha Tarkovsky


If you lack self esteem and are low in self confidence then you probably spend a lot of time wishing you had the confidence to act and behave in the way people with high self esteem do.

If you want to be happier and derive more from life incresing your self confidence and self esteem is the key and its easy to do with these simple tips.

What Low Self Esteem Means

Having low self esteem and lacking confidence in your ability to do the things you’ve always wanted to do can distort your views, making you think everything always seems to go right for everyone but you.

The Cure

In reality, people who appear to be high in self confidence and always seem to get what they want simply believe in themselves. Being high in self esteem opens you up to the possibility of success rather than failure.

If you are high in self esteem you understand that failing at something means just that, you have failed at one task, it does not make you a failure.

What is Self Esteem?

Self esteem refers to the way you perceive yourself and the way you think others perceive you.

If you have low self esteem then you will tend to have a low opinion of yourself, your capabilities and how people perceive you.

If you have a high sense of self esteem then you will have a positive and realistic opinion of yourself and how people perceive you. You will have a good awareness of your strengths and weaknesses.

How to recognize if you are suffering from Low Self Esteem

If you’re internal thoughts tend to begin with:

• I can’t…

• I must…

• I should…

The chances are you are suffering from low self esteem

How to Build Confidence and Self Esteem

People with a highly developed sense of self esteem have the self confidence to achieve their goals. Succeeding at the goals they set for themselves adds to the self confidence building blocks they already have in place.

Each successive achievement creates opportunities for greater success and self belief which increases their perception of self esteem.

Having a positive sense of self perception and self esteem is one of the most important factors for increasing your self confidence as if you believe you will succeed at a task then the chances are you will.

If you believe you are going to fail at a task, then you will act accordingly, and the chances are you will fail.

Tips for improving self esteem:-

• Make a list of all your strengths. Remember we are all good at something. Your list could include being a good parent, a loyal friend or a trusted employee.

• Perception creates reality so perceive yourself as someone who achieves the things you set out to do.

• Remember that success builds upon success, so set yourself small goals initially, and build on them.

• Believe in yourself. For every negative belief you hold about yourself think of four positive ones. If you can’t think of beliefs that are true at the moment then think of beliefs you would like to be true that you can work towards.

• Choose two things that you know you are good at and think of three ways you could work to improve each of these even more. By concentrating on areas that you know you are already good at will improve your confidence and be a good building block for future success.

• Even if you sometimes don’t feel like it always act in a confident manner.

• Make a list of positive affirmations that you can use to encourage yourself and raise your confidence.

• Surround yourself with positive, successful, confident people.

By practicing these tips aimed at raising your confidence and self esteem, you will begin to change the way you perceive yourself and the things you are able to achieve.

Increase Your Self Esteem & Get More From Life

As your self esteem increases you can start to think about the things you used to put yourself down for and use the same techniques to build on your confidence.

Don’ allow small setbacks to diminish your newly gained self esteem. Keep it in perspective and remember it’s just that, a small setback.

guru


When you meet someone who feels that they are attractive, are they demonstrating positive self-esteem or arrogance?

When you meet someone who feels that they are intelligent, are they demonstrating positive self-esteem or arrogance?

When you meet someone who feels that they are a good person, are they demonstrating positive self-esteem or arrogance?

Where do *you* draw the line between positive self-esteem and arrogance?

Powered by Yahoo Answers

Bernadette Dimitrov


Give a gift that keeps on giving - self-esteem which is the collection of feelings or beliefs that we have about ourselves. How we define ourselves influences our motivations, attitudes, and behaviors and affects our emotional well being. Self-confidence, great relationships, and a good shot at success in whatever you attempt is the prize for self esteem. Now is the time to think about your overall self appraisal of your own self worth, self-confidence and self respect and how this influences your children and others around you and what you can do about it this Christmas season.

Having healthy self esteem will produce:

- Armor against life’s challenges

- Feeling good about yourself

- Find it easier to handle conflicts and negative pressures

- More realistic approach to life – will look for solutions and have the ability to move forward rather than get stuck

- Generally optimistic and will enjoy life more

Low self esteem produces:

- Challenges becoming sources of major anxiety and frustration

- Harder to find solutions to problems

- Produce critical thoughts such as ‘I’m not good enough’, ‘I’m not loveable’, ‘I always do things wrong’, ‘nobody cares about me’

- Will belittle oneself for weaknesses rather than accept them eg. will say ‘I’m an idiot’ rather than say ‘I don’t understand’

- produce a passive, withdrawn or depressed state

- distorted perceptions of life - can see temporary setbacks as intolerable and permanent

- a sense of pessimism predominates

Give the gift of fostering healthy self esteem in your child!

Know that low self-esteem begins in childhood and is the result of the actions and attitudes of significant older people around us. Don’t program your children to feel less than wonderful about themselves. Here are a few great tips of how you can give and make a big difference:

• Praise your child: especially for jobs well done and for their effort put in. Be mindful of your words, what you say and be truthful. Reward effort and completion rather than outcome. For example your child lost at basketball and didn’t make the finals, say ‘you didn’t make the finals but I’m proud of the effort you put in’ rather than ‘next time you’ll work harder and make it’.

• Be a positive role model & do not criticize even in jest. Ensure you develop and display healthy self esteem with your role modeling. You don’t want your child to grow up mirroring adults with pessimistic or unrealistic expressions about abilities and limitations. For example, don’t criticize find positive ways to address an issue. If you criticize chances are your child will grow up with a mate or boss who is constantly telling them what they do wrong because they have grown up believing it is ok for people to treat them that way and thus they allow it and attract it. Do not use demeaning nicknames in jest they are criticism and they damage self esteem.

• Address irrational beliefs. It’s important to not only identify unhealthy or inaccurate irrational beliefs but to redirect them. These beliefs may include issues around attractiveness, perfection and abilities. An example might be that your child is doing well at school generally yet is struggling with English. Your child might say things like ‘I’m not a good student’ or ‘I can’t do English’. This is a generalization that is setting up the outcome for failure. You would redirect the child with something like ‘You are doing well at school and you are a good student you just need to spend more time on the English subject and we can work on developing that’.

• Give spontaneous affection. Tell your child you are proud of him or her. Hug your child. Leave a note on their pillow ‘I think you’re terrific’ or ‘you make a difference’. A parent’s love can support and boost a child’s self esteem. Be mindful not to overdo it – kids are good knowing when it’s not honest.

• Don’t argue in front of your children. Exposing your child to repeated arguing and fighting may cause withdrawal and depression. Low self esteem will result from a child feeling unsafe or being abused at home. Respect your child by creating a safe, nurturing home environment.

Self esteem is not about bragging that you are the greatest or that you are perfect. Nobody is perfect but having healthy self esteem will result in you or your child knowing that you or he or she is worthy of being loved and accepted. Self esteem creates a belief in one’s self and courage to try new things and the ability to make better choices about your mind and body rather than go along with crowd doing dumb or dangerous activities. You’ll respect yourself even when you make mistakes because you will have a healthy and realistic view of your abilities and a situation. Because you respect yourself, others usually will too.

Tips for gifting yourself self esteem!

You can help develop your self esteem, love and acceptance of yourself by focusing on the good things you do and all your great qualities. Here are a few suggestions that you can try to increase your self-esteem:

• Choose your friends well. Choose to spend more time with people who help you feel good about yourself. Be in relationships that bring you up not drag you down.

• Make a list of things you’re good at. It can be anything from cooking, sports, drawing, writing, singing or telling a good joke. Now add a few things to your list that you would like to be good at. Now make a plan as to how you could work on developing skills you will need to be good at what’s on your list.

• Give yourself a compliment a day. Find something you did during the day that was good. For example ‘I was a good listener today’ or ‘I was a good friend to Johnny today’ or ‘I made a good effort to complete my work today’

• Keep a journal of good things said about you. Studies have shown that people with low self esteem tend to forget or filter out information that counters ingrained negative beliefs. Having a journal your write down praise given to you will enable you to remember and acknowledge your real value.

• Express gratitude daily. Before you go to bed every night think of at least one thing in your day that you are grateful for. It could simply your toothbrush because it gives you clean teeth and fresh breath! Start with small things and build on it each day.

• Accept your body. Remind yourself that there are some things that are uniquely yours – embrace them such as shoe size, skin color and height. Don’t compare yourself with others just learn from them. If you are wanting a healthier body learn skills to improve your health and take up a physical activity. Acknowledge your body’s strengths eg. I have strong legs, I can ride a bike really well.

• Next negative thoughts and self critical remarks. Make a conscious effort to be aware of when a negative thought enters your mind. Stop it immediately and redirect yourself to healthier thoughts. Negative thoughts discourage and drag your self esteem down as does every time you make a self critical negative remark such as ‘I’m an idiot’ you are reinforcing negative patterns in your brain that do not serve you.

Have a Self Esteem Christmas!

Giving and Christmas always go hand in hand. So how about this Christmas you give self esteem as your gift this season! Here are a few suggestions:

- Send a self esteem Christmas card. Show your appreciation and thoughts by sending words of thanks, gratitude and acknowledgement of the person you are sending a Christmas card to in your greetings message. For example, thank friends for their friendship and smiling time spent together or if an employee, for their efforts and loyalty. The extra effort to acknowledge something personal and good about another goes a long way towards boosting anothers self esteem.

- Purchase self esteem presents. Think about your message and what kind of gift would go with it that would convey your words. Here are some examples - motivational books (to uplift and encourage) or a board games (great for sharing fun, smiles and memorable quality time together).

So now you know why you want to foster healthy self esteem in yourself and in your children and some tips to get you started. There is no better time to start than at Christmas, the time for giving and the time to give the life enhancing gift of self esteem!

Dr,Boyer Cross


How many men are born with a high level of confidence? Not all men have a natural confidence. But there are ways to obtain an improved level of confidence with women.

It is actually possible for just about any man to develop a higher confidence in their ability for dealing with women. There are multiple ways to achieve this goal. One way to become confident around women is as simple as the old saying “practice makes perfect”. If you practice by dating a number of times then you may become more comfortable each time you go on a date allowing you to boost your confidence. This can also help you to feel confident by feeling less desperate. If you go on a date and it don’t work out for you then you still have other irons in the fire to enjoy.

You can also try thinking that looks are not everything. Some of the most beautiful Women can be the ugliest women because they may look nice on the outside but may be ugly on the inside. If you can tell yourself that just because they are pretty does not mean they are better then you. You may be better then them. So if you are going on a date just look at the woman and try to figure out if she is a nice person or a ugly person. You may find that a woman that may not have pretty looks may be a nicer choice for you. If you find a nice person then you will be more comfortable and have more confidence while being with them.

If you are not a very confident type of person you can also date in a group allowing you to be around other people you know and are comfortable with. This can help you relax and have fun with your date. A lot of people go on dates as groups. You can just be yourself around your friends making your date more successful.

When planning a date plan to do something you enjoy and maybe good at. If you like to swim plan a trip to a lake. It can also be helpful to go somewhere you enjoy. If you like a certain type of food then go to a restaurant that you frequent. You will be able to decide ahead of time what to order so you don’t have to worry about rushing. If you do something you are good at such as roller blading you can show off a bit making you feel and look good. Besides your date may not be as good as you and you can help them. If you have the upper hand then you will be more likely to relax and be yourself allowing you to have a good time.

You can build your confidence by looking in the mirror and tell yourself you are worth it and then remember your words when you start to loose confidence in yourself. If you like yourself then others will like you too.