Peter Murphy


Self confidence is something that many people struggle with. Society has built up certain guidelines on how one should look and act. If we do not live up to societies expectations then we feel a lack of self confidence.

For some people this lack of self confidence effects every aspect of their life. That is why learning to build your own self confidence is important.

The following section explains some reasons why someone may lack self confidence and what to do about them.

1. We are hard on ourselves.

This means that we compare ourselves to others or expect too much from ourselves. It is easy to expect yourself to be something, but sometimes we use impossible standards.

For example, not everyone can look like a super model, so it is useless to expect yourself to be one. This also includes being mad at yourself for simple things.

Some people kick themselves for small mistakes because they expect perfection. Letting go of these expectations will go a long way in learning to have self confidence.

2. We are negative.

Thinking negative thoughts and displaying negative attitudes make us a negative person. Most people can pick up on this and do their best to avoid you. This only leads to poor self confidence.

If you can learn to see the good in things and try to do positive things in your life you will feel better about yourself and in return boost your self confidence.

3. We focus on what we can not do.

Focusing on what you can not do only makes you feel bad about yourself. Instead try to find out what you are good at and excel at it.

This gives you a reason to be proud of yourself and also gives you a reason to go out and meet people that feel the same way. You can gain much self confidence by being proud of your accomplishments.

4. We hate our body.

Recognize that everyone looks different. Even identical twins have something about them that is different. Being different makes us each unique and special. So be happy you do not look like everyone else.

If there is something your really do not like about yourself then change it. Lose weight, get your hair colored or get braces - whatever will make you love yourself.

These four simple things can go a long way to boosting your self confidence. The main key to self confidence is learning to love yourself. If you love yourself then you can be open to others and love them.

Self confidence is basically about being positive and accepting about everyone and everything - including yourself.



Paddy

G.Lefebvre


LOW SELF ESTEEM is everywhere now days.  For example, do you know that seven million girls and women have eating disorders, compared with 1 million boys and men.  Ten percent report onset at 10 years or younger; 33 percent ages 11 to 15.  Do you know that twenty percent College-aged women in America are bulimic.  And they many more examples like that.  Low self esteem can come in many different forms.  Self pity, jealousy, codependency, emotional infidelity, low self worth, loneliness, and guilt are the major sign.  Other signs are blaming others, denial, unable to express feelings, depending on others for self-confidence and a lack for personal boundaries are all signs of low self esteem

The definition of Low Self Esteem is “to not value, or have high regard for yourself.  People with low self esteem never feel in charge of their own lives.  They often feel like victims. They feel like outsiders, left out, unimportant, etc”.   Your mind can play costly tricks on you, nothing you do seems to go right, you believe that most people do not like you, you believe that you are not attractive, you choose something and it turns out to be the worst one, you are afraid to converse with others for fear that what you say might not make sense, you feel swallowed up in a whirlpool of frustration.

Self pity is defined as you live paralyzed, self-pity becomes a form of manipulation that you might use to get things from other people.  Jealousy is considered negative when it is an emotion that shows up in a treat in a relationship.  It can very toxic if it is used to manipulate a relationship.  Codependency is not considered a disease, it is an emotional and behavioral condition that learned and affects the ability to have a healthy relationship or a relationship period.  Some of the signs are gives more than gets in returns, easily hurts when not recognize and always feels guilty when expressing thoughts.

Emotional infidelity can be caused by a lack of balance between family, work and taking care of yourself. Afraid to get intimate with your love one.  Need drama in life. Low self worth is usually caused by the believe that people believe their worthiness is based on their performance and other people opinions. Loneliness can get very completed as people will isolate themselves and are usually alienated.  Guilt is usually people that will punished themselves and have a strong believe they are a bad person.

It is very important to know what to do to overcome low self-esteem.  Make sure that you are very knowledge about the subject and don’t do it alone.  Always ask for help.  Never think you can do this alone. Low self-esteem affects millions of people every day and knowing how to recognize the symptoms and knowing what to do could really help you or a love one.

Discover how you can overcome low self esteem by visiting 

http://www.squidoo.com/overcoming-low-self-esteem-tips



Brendon

Stephen Campbell


When you want to feel your best, you will want to make sure that you have the needed self confidence in order to make it happen. You want to make sure that you have a positive attitude within you so that you are making it easier to have good self confidence so that you can be more successful and happier in your life.

Yes, self confidence is very much important because it will help you to face people ideally. Good self esteem and self confidence make you away from social anxiety disorder. Thus, you have better opportunity to succeed in the social and corporate world. That is the reason why many are striving to improve their self confidence. So, how can you develop an attitude to have good self confidence?

Well, you need to keep smiling and let yourself to have a positive attitude in life. When you are looking at things with the lighter side, you will find it easier to have more self confidence so that you are able to achieve more success with the things that you do. You want to see to it that you are giving it your all so that you are able to make sure that you are performing your best.

Getting a good self esteem is not something that will come naturally for many individuals. You will want to make sure that you are able to give your best that you can do for every situation that you are in. You want to make sure that you are able to give your best and to have as much self confidence that you can in life to achieve its many benefits.

Remember who you are and what your personality is, then try to develop the area that you think you are weak because when you are able to develop those areas, you will gain more self confidence. Once you find your inner being and how you are feeling in life, you will want to make the decision to take life in a manner that is beneficial to you as a person and as a social individual. You will build your self-confidence levels and make every life situation to its optimum potential. You will have a better time getting what you desire in life and living up to all the expectations that you can.

Self confidence takes a very vital role in our life. The quality of our daily living greatly depends on the level of self conditions we have to do things and to face our social challenges.



Christopher

Stuart Gardiner


When we have little self respect for ourselves or a very low self esteem it becomes very hard to be a success at anything. We often fail before we even start something, simply because we tend to avoid situations we fear. The very idea of something can send us running for the hills. But it is this very avoidance that is responsible for compounding the problem. You see, giving up something before you even start is habit forming. Each time you take the easy option you make it harder for yourself the next time.

Denis Waitley once said “To establish true self-esteem we must concentrate on our successes and forget about the failures and the negatives in our lives.” So, the good news is that overcoming low self esteem is not as difficult as it may seem. The view that self confidence is something we are born with is simply not true. It can be learned like anything else and it comes through building on our previous successes and learning from our mistakes. It doesn’t matter where you start from because success is only relative anyway. What is certain though, to build self esteem you must make the decisions that will allow success in to your life

Imagine how you will feel when you can face any situation with a spirit of adventure and a calm attitude. When toleration of uncertainty is second nature. When you become a “take me as I am” person who is not scared to fail once in a while. This is not arrogance, this is simply you being yourself and not dancing to the beat of someone else’s drum. It is a big problem to go through life wanting to be liked or fearing others opinions of you. All our energy is diverted in the wrong direction. If I’m making a speech I want to making the speech and not be thinking about what the audience is thinking.

The true path to building self confidence is to devote yourself to excellence in all that you do!

Here is how it works. When making a decision, do your best to choose the better option over the easy option. The choices you make determine whether you ‘remain in’ or ‘move out of’ your comfort zone. The better option usually takes us out of our comfort zone. You see, we often settle for the easy choice because it is the one we are familiar with, even if it is not helping our cause.

When you have made your choice, devote excellence to the path you have chosen. In the beginning you will still probably avoid some of the more uncomfortable situations but this is to be expected. Mahatma Gandhi once said “No matter how insignificant the thing you have to do, do it as well as you can, give as much of your care and attention as you would give to the thing you regard as most important. For it will be by those small things that you shall be judged.”

As your sense of positive pride grows through giving your best, you will increase self confidence and build your self esteem. You will begin to feel good about yourself and have more energy and passion to take on bigger things. We will never conquer low self esteem through analysis alone. Building self confidence is only possible by allowing success into our lives on an ever increasing basis.



Eugene

Michael Lee


In today’s world, we cannot afford to be shy and reserved. We must have great self- confidence in order achieve our goals faster and be successful in our pursuits.

If you want to boost your self-confidence, attract the best opportunities, and be anything you desire to be, these great self-confidence boosters may help.

Great Self Confidence Booster #1: Beat Shyness

Shyness prevents you from letting people see the real you, because you’re afraid to say or do the wrong things or to appear awkward. The problem is, by being shy and hanging back from the rest of the crowd, you’re already decreasing your chances for success.

Overcoming shyness doesn’t mean that you have to start trying to dominate conversations or hog all the attention. People tend to get irritated with others who are “attention hogs”.

Overcoming shyness starts with baby steps. Introduce yourself to society by opening yourself to people little by little. You can strike up conversations with your officemates. If you want anonymity, talk to people in airports, bus terminals, restaurants, or anywhere you can find someone who seems open to talking.

You can also establish relationships with people on the Internet. With the Internet being a medium where no one would really know who you are, you can actually start your foray out of shyness from there. Then graduate to talking more with friends, then with people you barely know, to people you totally don’t know.

Great Self Confidence Booster #2: Build Up Your Self-Esteem

A healthy self-esteem comes from an unconditional acceptance of yourself. You have to learn how to love yourself for who you are, and to be kind to yourself. You have to learn to appreciate yourself.

Instead of picking out your weaknesses, focus on your strengths. Instead of going through the daily cycle of beating yourself up, set a routine where you would tell yourself ten things you like about yourself. Do not be your own worst enemy. Become your own best friend. Love yourself for who you are.

Do not depend for anyone to love you first. If you think you can wait around forever to have someone love you, then you might get really disappointed. To be lovable, you have to love yourself. You have to be secure in your being, in your existence. Longing for others to love you first creates a climate of wanting and longing that people sense. It comes across as desperation, one of the inverses of self-confidence. Eliminate that part of you. Practice appreciating yourself, cultivate your love for yourself, and wean yourself from the addiction to approval by approving of yourself first.

Great Self Confidence Booster #3: Dress for Success

We must admit that people make their conclusions based on what they see. When they see a slob, they tend to stay away or write you off as not worth knowing. But when they see a polished look, an excellent look, they see success scrolling on a marquee on top of your head. When you look like you can take care of yourself, you send the message that you love yourself, that you are confident, and that you have what it takes to succeed.

Great Self Confidence Booster #4: Get Out There and Just Do It

Many of us don’t think we are capable of doing the things we want because we’re not sure about ourselves. Again, there’s the dreaded voice of doubt. What you want is to be fearless enough so you’ll be able to tackle all the things you’ve ever dreamed of doing.

Fear of failure is a big factor in the crumbling of our self-confidence, and this same fear is caused by our insistence on focusing on the negative side of things. True, it’s never a bad thing to be cautious whenever we’re thinking of new ventures, adventures, and activities, but too much caution will paralyze us, making us unable to take action.

So why not start thinking positively? Think hard about what you want to do. Join activities that may enhance your leadership and teamwork skills. If you stumble over any doubts or possible problems that will come up, don’t immediately say, “I can’t do it.” Just imagine ways that will help you work around those problems.

Don’t just second-guess your plans. Trust in your abilities and the fact that you can bounce back from any situation. That’s already a big bonus. An even bigger plus for you is when you actually follow your dreams and achieve your goals, which would even make you feel confident that you can do anything.

Learning how to have great self-confidence is simple and easy. Accept yourself the way you are. Take care of yourself and acknowledge the fact that you are a very special person of great talent and ability. You can if you think you can.



Patricia