November « 2009 « Self Esteem

Archive for November, 2009

What Is Self-Esteem Theory?

Posted by Janine on November 20th, 2009 | Comments Off

Robert Levin

Self-esteem Theory has become a popular and most importantly practical way of viewing human interaction. While many famous Psychologists and Psychiatrists as well as Philosophers and Thinkers independently came about a similar construct, Alfred Adler, an Austrian Physician Psychologist and founder of the school of individual Psychology is generally credited with being the founder of at least the largest movement. Adler was among the co-founders of the psychoanalytic movement along with Sigmund Freud. In this short article I will outline a simple yet effective description and methodology of Self-Esteem Theory.

The core idea of Self-Esteem Theory is that everyone has an intrinsic ‘value’ that they feel they are worth and as human beings we constantly strive to improve or increase that value. It is related to the ego and those with ‘low self-esteem’ are said to be suffering from an ‘inferiority complex’. In practical terms, people with better self-esteem generally feel worthy of a good life and all that entails while those with low self-esteem feel they are of less value. Most people are not consciously aware of their level of ‘self-esteem’ and it can only really be seen via study of the individual’s behaviors in day to day life and in certain situations.

Low self-esteem or possessing an inferiority complex is often attributed to ‘self-defeating behaviors’. The reason being that accomplishing the task that someone intends or attempts will give the person a feeling of better self-esteem, which will conflict with the low self-esteem the person feels about himself subconsciously. He therefore sabotages his success to keep himself where he is comfortable, in this case his self-esteem.

Many modern psychologists include a further expansion on the general self-esteem concept to include a set-point. What this means is that during your childhood, the influences, experiences and nurture or lack there-of create your inherent level of confidence and worth in yourself. This then becomes your ‘set-point’. Once in adulthood, attempts to rise above or below this set-point consistently fail as your Self-esteem ‘set-point’ is maintained. This creates a dilemma for the person that wishes to improve his self-concept and self-esteem as it is very difficult, unless one is very self-aware to not self-sabotage repeatedly to keep yourself at this static ‘level’.

More recent study into the brain’s development including neuro-plasticity lends scientific support to these theories but offers hope for those that would like to break their self-esteem Set-Point and have a permanently higher Set-Point. It is now known that the brain constantly adapts, re-wires and re-balances itself depending on the experiences that the person is going through. Therefore, if one consistently trains oneself to bypass the natural self-limiting beliefs and self-sabotage, just as in habit forming, it is possible to ‘reset’ the self-esteem set-point.

One simple yet interesting way to determine if one has good or poor self-esteem is to observe how one reacts when faced with someone in a troubling or ignorant situation. A person with poor self-esteem will feel the urge to put down or condescend to the person. In extreme cases of very low self-esteem the person might even try and push the person down further by ridiculing or preying on them and victimizing them.

This is in contrast to how a person with good self-esteem would act. A person with good self-esteem when faced with a person showing ignorance or confusion or trouble will try and help the person. A person with very good self-esteem might even take the person under his wing for a short time to educate or enlighten them to the mistakes they are making.

Visually we can see this in an interesting analogy. Imagine a certain level of sea water. One boat sits high in the water, another low in the water. These are the high and low self-esteem people. Now if a strange boat of medium level encounters trouble, the ‘lower self-esteem’ people/boat try and drag that person/boat down to their level while a person/boat of high self-esteem instead tries to lift the damaged boat up to theirs.

Applying this simple story to real life encounters with people can help you gauge very quickly if they have good or poor self-esteem. Just pay attention to if they ridicule others, or try and help and lift up others and you get an immediate window into their subconscious. For more great articles and insight please visit www.SelfAwareness101.com

Anne-Marie

Filed under Self Esteem | Tags: Ego, Human Beings

How to Self Esteem the Off Spring for a Successiful Future

Posted by Janine on November 17th, 2009 | Comments Off

Muna wa Wanjiru

Self esteem the off spring does not mean that a proud feeling that comes from others’ praising words. The child must develop self esteem from within. It is an inner feeling of being worthy. The child must develop self esteem that will help him\her gracefully. You should not allow your child just because he\she has good looking. The pride must come from the renowned characters that the child possesses.

Self esteem is a feeling of confidence. Most of us believe that it is related to adults only. But children have more self esteem. As a parent you must help your child to get more confidence. If you child lacks self esteem then he\she will the ability to face the society. Even a small teasing will hurt off spring self esteem. So healthy off spring self esteem must be developed.

Self esteem the off spring is essential because the child lacking such abilities will face number of problems in education also. Remember off spring self esteem must not be an over dose that will result in child’s superior complex.

Self esteem of the off spring will be affected in many ways. Family situations and bullying at school may affect off spring self esteem. The children of divorced parents are affected more. As a parent you can help your child to develop self esteem by telling beautiful stories with meaningful messages. The child’s grasping capacity is normally excellent. So the stories of good people, leaders and warriors will help him\her to develop self esteem.

If you stimulate your off spring self esteem then they will have the wonderful chance of getting healthy and successful life in the future. Another important thing you have to do to develop off spring self esteem is to listen the child’s words. If you never hear your child’s words or simply ignore him\her then off spring self esteem will be affected. You must spend some time daily to hear your child’s words. The feeling of safety provided by the parents will help developing off spring self esteem.

Self esteem of the off spring can be increased by the parents by believing their children. This will provide a feeling of trust worthiness in children. If your child commits any mistake don’t punish or scold him\her in public. Even if you raise your voice in front of your child’s friends then the self esteem of your child will definitely affected. You must make the child realize his\ her mistake by advising calmly in your separate room. Off spring self esteem is thus an essential thing that must be developed by the parents to provide a bright future to your child.

Luis

Filed under Self Esteem | Tags: Adults, Family Situations

Recognize the Symptoms of Low Self Esteem and Empower Yourself to Change

Posted by Janine on November 15th, 2009 | Comments Off

Susyn Reeve

Would you recognize symptoms of low self esteem if you saw them in someone else’s life or experienced them in your own? Our level of self esteem is perhaps the single most important factor in determining our happiness and success, and recognizing the symptoms of low self esteem is a vital first step in initiating desired changes in our lives.

Essentially, our self esteem is a reflection of how we feel about ourselves and, ultimately, it affects how we react to or interact with the situations and relationships we encounter. Low self-esteem has often been cited as a key contributor to many failures, negative attitudes, and broken relationships. However, many of us do not recognize low self-esteem within ourselves because we are not aware of the defining symptoms or factors.

We may feel discontentment or dissatisfaction about ourselves, our friendships, or our careers. We may realize that we are not enjoying the level of success and fulfillment that we desire. But, we may not understand that these thoughts and feelings are a product of low self-esteem. We need a little help with identifying the cause so we can begin the process of change.

Since the symptoms of low self esteem are numerous and varied, they can have many different looks, depending on the individual. What may cause negativity and depression in one person may manifest as anger or fear in another. An important step in improving our self esteem is to discover the symptoms we may be experiencing and realize the impact that these factors are having on various aspects of our lives.

We need to take the time to learn how we see ourselves and how that self-perception affects our attitudes, beliefs, and relationships. As with anything, we cannot break the cycle if we do not admit that we need to change. This acknowledgment empowers us to begin the process of transforming our attitudes about ourselves.

Change is a choice! Once we recognize the symptoms in our lives, we can decide to begin boosting our self-esteem by consciously making healthy and productive choices. Although breaking old patterns and building new brain pathways and behaviors can be difficult, we need to understand that we have the power to determine our own destiny and the direction our lives take.

From the time we are young, we are programmed to think and react in a particular way, and often our choices and reactions are so automatic that we don’t take the time to question our feelings or consider a different response. To improve our self esteem, we need to take control of our decisions and empower ourselves to change.

We can incorporate self esteem exercises that affirm and encourage us and give us the power to implement necessary changes. Almost immediately, it will become very evident that changing the way we see ourselves changes the way we see others too. Altering our thought processes directly alters the way we view challenges. And improving our self esteem today allows us to take control of our future. Being aware of the symptoms of low self esteem is important for both building and maintaining positive feelings and thoughts about ourselves and is the first step in empowering self-improvement. We can make the choice for change right now!

Regina

Filed under Self Esteem | Tags: Happiness, Negative Attitudes

Success and Your Self-Esteem

Posted by Janine on November 13th, 2009 | Comments Off

Daniel Sitter

steem, the manner in which one feels about herself at the deepest level, influences virtually every aspect of our lives, hence whether we are successful or not. No kidding, it is that important. If we were all brutally honest with ourselves, each of us would quietly confess some feeling of inadequacy in at least one area of our life. This might be leftover scarring from a childhood emotional trauma or result from a recent verbal attack from someone. Many times, even though we may appear to be ignoring such an assault, we secretly harbor negative, self-abusing thoughts and our mind goes to work to paint worst-case scenarios.

Like Fort Knox, one’s self esteem should be guarded with great intensity of purpose. We should be on guard, constantly vigilant and aware of anything that could damage our feelings of worth and value. Self- doubt is the Devils’ greatest weapon against us. We should guard our own self- esteem as well as that of our children and other loved ones, constantly building them up and encouraging them. We are all of great value to our Creator, our families and those closest to us. Do not ever allow anyone, whether intentionally or not, to attempt to convince you otherwise. As Zig Ziglar is noted for saying, “When you point a finger at someone else, you have three times that many pointing back at you.”

A sign of lacking sufficient self-esteem is often noted in a person who is often critical of others, always finding fault in their performance or activities, all the while attempting to build himself up in comparison. Don’t be fooled, and don’t fall victim to this kind of assault. There is also a fine line between confidence and arrogance, and the defining variable is often sincere belief and caring. At the core of your values do you actually believe with confidence that you can do it, or is your appearance of confidence a front, masking a sense of fear and inadequacy? True confidence often empowers others with inspiration through leadership. Arrogance often includes a sense of cockiness or a slight demeaning of others possibly attempting the same task as you. An arrogant person may think that he is the sole person capable of the successful completion of a task, while a confident person will often inspire and empower others by leading them to join in on the accomplishment of a specific task or goal, sharing the glory and empowerment afterwards.

Success has been defined in many ways by dozens of people over the years. I prefer to view success as a worthwhile journey whose reward is evident as the result of embarking on, staying the course, and completing that journey. Success is more about the how than the what. That journey, that “pursuit of a worthy ideal,” often defines ones’ character in great detail. Self-esteem is enhanced by this pursuit. Self- esteem will deepen and grow because of this pursuit. It is seldom a result of reaching the goal, but more a function of the process itself. Self esteem is enhanced by the very belief of “I can” and the action that is associated with it. Self-esteem will grow with action and perseverance. Self-esteem will be enhanced each and every time you step out and expand your comfort zone. Self-esteem will deepen every time you lift someone else up and encourage them. Your self-worth will grow each time you share these simple principles with someone else and help them to grow. You are empowered by the growth and confidence you inspire in others.

Success then, is almost a by-product of self-esteem, proportional to the depth of ones’ convictions and self-belief. The journey of accomplishing a worthy ideal involves digging deeply inside and mustering confidence, self-belief , discipline and persistence. Self-esteem and success, though appearing dependent upon one another, are in reality, independent. Immediate or apparent success, or lack thereof, will not impede the self esteem of a person who is consciously on the trail of a worthy pursuit as described earlier, for they understand that the success they seek is simply a matter of time. This person is not discouraged by short-term setbacks. Her mind is focused upon her goal and she constantly is “adjusting her sails for changes in the wind.”

See yourself as a person of great value, capable of making wonderful contributions to enhance the lives of others, perhaps some of whom which are not even known to you. Do not allow others to control your self-esteem. It has been said that “no one can make you feel inferior without your permission.” Simply withhold permission, no matter the circumstances. Self-esteem is your own; start cultivating it today.

Jay

Filed under Self Esteem | Tags: Belief, Leadership

The Foundation Of Self-Esteem

Posted by Janine on November 12th, 2009 | Comments Off

Robert Levin

In my ongoing study of human behavior I have a lot of discussions with people about self esteem and how it plays such a significant role in our lives. Everyone knows that it’s better to have good self esteem vs. bad, yet what is amazing to me is how few people really understand what exactly self esteem actually is. More importantly, it’s very rare to run across someone that understands where the true building blocks of good self esteem come from. In this article I’ll explore just what makes up the foundation of good self esteem.

What Self Esteem Is Not

If you ask the average person what makes them have good self esteem and you’ll get an infinite number of answers, most of which are wrong. You might hear someone say they have good self esteem when they feel pretty. Another might say it’s when they make a bunch of money or when they sit in their new car. Most people associate self esteem with surface level things such as appearance, what we own, or how much money we have. But is that really what creates good self esteem? Apparently not. Afterall, the world is full of wealthy, beautiful people that have low self esteem and are miserable inside.

Self Discipline and Self Competency

What really creates good self esteem is self discipline and self competency. Every time you make a promise to yourself…and keep it; whether to go to the gym, do a task at work, eat or not eat a certain food…you raise your self esteem. The contrary is true as well. If you eat that piece of cake you know you shouldn’t, or you procrastinate a project until it’s too late to do your best…each of these lowers your self esteem because you are breaking an implied promise to yourself of what you know you should do. This is why self discipline is a root creator of self-esteem.

While looking pretty, being in shape, making a lot of money or driving a nice car are all fun things that you enjoy, the real pleasure comes in knowing that you exercised the self-discipline to EARN those things. That’s the pride of self-discipline which leads to self competency which in turn leads to self-esteem.

Think for a second of the spoiled child of a wealthy person that has been given everything but never had to earn it from his own self discipline. He is not self competent. Inside, as much as he might try and put on a front of self esteem in fact he is insecure because he knows what he has he has not earned. This lack of self competency and the low self esteem that accompanies it is rampant among those that did not earn what they have and they frequently put up facades of arrogance, snobbishness or anger. Personality flaws such as these are sure signs of low self esteem as the high self esteem, self competent person has no need for building walls of denial to hide behind.

One of the best ways to build self esteem is to have a regular workout routine. The simple act of keeping a promise to yourself each and every day will build a foundation of self discipline that you can then use to conquer other objectives in your life. Remember, your brain is just like a muscle in that the more you do something, it actually grows more neurons and customizes and strengthens chemical and nerve pathways to reinforce your new habits, making it easier to stick to. This ability of the brain to change and adapt even in adulthood is called neuro-plasticity and is a great subject to know about for those seeking to pursue greater self esteem and self awareness. For more great insight and information about this and other topics please visit SelfAwareness101.com.

Veronica

Filed under Self Esteem | Tags: Competency, Piece Of Cake

Self Esteem