January « 2010 « Self Esteem

Archive for January, 2010

Overcoming The Major Causes Of Low Self Esteem

Posted by Janine on January 31st, 2010 | Comments Off

GregFrost

In this day and age, it is not surprising to see how pervasive low self esteem has become. In an age where girls and women alike suffer from some form of eating disorders brought on by issues with their self image, self esteem related problems have definitely become a major issue. In America alone, 20 percent of college women suffer from bulimia. This is the age where many feel the need to be slim and trim and beautiful in order to be accepted by society at large.

The truth is, low self esteem can be caused by a great number of things. Feelings of jealousy, envy, emotional insecurity, loneliness, guilt, and even self pity can contribute to low self esteem. Symptoms of low self esteem include denial, the inability to express one’s feelings, a heavy dependence on others to feel good about one’s self, blaming others for one’s misfortunes, and not having personal boundaries.

Low self esteem is really about not valuing or having high regard for one’s self. People suffering from low self esteem feel inferior, as though they are not in charge of their lives. They feel victimized, ostracized from society, and unimportant to everyone around them. Because it affects their subconscious, low self esteem is really a deep-seated phenomenon that has its origins in one’s formative years as a child, and is often not an easy problem to fix.

People suffering from self pity tend to be manipulative, using their belief of low self worth to get what they want out of other people. They become almost like parasites, clinging onto the good will of others and becoming dependent on them just to get through their lives. Obviously this would breed negativity in any sort of relationship. Similarly, jealousy can also cause negativity when used as a tool of manipulation.

Some might consider the heavy dependence on others a disease, but in all actuality, it is not by definition a disease. It is a condition affecting the emotional and behavioural aspects of a person that is developed over time and learned, and it affects one’s ability of having healthy relationships or any relationships to speak of. Symptoms of this condition include guilt when expressing honest thoughts, giving more than one receives, and suffering from emotional hurt easily when one’s effort is not seen as significant or even recognised.

The factors contributing to emotional insecurity include a lack of a healthy balance between work and family and one’s self, the fear of intimacy with loved ones, and needing some form of validation in life through drama.

Overcoming these symptoms of low self esteem is crucial if you are aiming to live a healthy, well-adjusted life as an adult. If you are unsure of what to do to improve your relationships with those around you and your feelings of insecurity and self worth, always seek help, from loved ones or even a healthcare professional. The number one mistake people tend to make is believing that they can overcome this problem alone. Low self esteem is a condition that is affecting millions around the world every single day, and recognising the symptoms will definitely go a long way in preventing and overcoming the condition.

Anne-Marie

Filed under Self Esteem | Tags: Formative Years, Loneliness

Start Overcoming Low Self Esteem Today

Posted by Janine on January 31st, 2010 | Comments Off

Andy Carr

When your confidence in your own abilities is at an all time low, the task of self esteem building can be difficult one. However, it’s important to recognize that self esteem levels can be altered with a little bit of thought and effort. You don’t have to go through life feeling insignificant and worthless; here are some tips to help you start overcoming low self esteem today:

It’s not your fault

The task of self esteem building can begin in earnest when you realize that your self esteem issues are not your fault. No one wakes up one morning and decides to saddle themselves with self esteem so low that even everyday tasks are a challenge. Your self esteem may have been affected by childhood experiences, by sudden illness or unemployment, or by being involved in an abusive relationship. Whatever your story, begin your quest towards overcoming low self esteem by recognizing that it’s not your fault.

You don’t need to be perfect

It’s fairly common for people who have issues with low self esteem to be very hard on themselves. Where someone with a healthy level of self esteem may score 45/50 in a test and think that they’ve done pretty well, someone with low self esteem might achieve the same score and spend the rest of the day feeling bad because they made 5 errors. Self esteem building requires you to realize that you don’t have to be perfect all the time. Aim for accomplishments rather than perfection and you’ll find that this simple shift in your way of thinking will make a big difference to how you feel.

Do something for someone else

The aim of overcoming low self esteem is for you to feel valued and worthwhile and few things can accomplish this so quickly as doing something to help someone else. This could be as simple as offering to pay for your friend’s coffee at the checkout. It could mean offering to help organize a bake sale to raise money for a local charity or spending time chatting with a friend who’s having problems. Whichever way you decide to offer your services, feeling like other people value and appreciate you does wonders for how you feel about yourself.

Self esteem building will happen more quickly if you learn to listen to other people’s compliments. When you do try to help others and you find people thanking you and saying things like, “We couldn’t have done it without you” – listen to them and take it in. Self esteem building requires you to call a halt to your habit of filtering out the positive comments and compliments! Accept that other people appreciate you and let it help you to appreciate yourself a little bit more.

Luis

Filed under Self Esteem | Tags: Aim, Way Of Thinking

Breaking the Chain of Low Self Esteem – Stop Living Like a Victim

Posted by Janine on January 30th, 2010 | Comments Off

Michael Lee

Breaking the chain of low self-esteem need not be an exercise in futility. Despite the fact that it seems like a Herculean task, because the state of self-loathing and insecurity colors one’s world in bleak shades of gray, breaking the chain of low self-esteem is actually an easy endeavor that starts with one step.

No matter how difficult that first step is, once it’s done, you would be on your road to a better you.

Self-worth is a crucial part of a person’s psyche. If one’s self-respect is in dire straits, his or her productivity, outlook in life, and just about everything in his/her life would be affected. This bondage must be broken.

Most men in the corporate world respond to their achievements being praised. Most women, on the other hand, bank their self-esteem on their physical beauty or whether they are lovable.

Whether you are an adult needing your sense of worth fixed, or a teenager who is in search of your identity, a sound self-esteem is very important. Here are some great tips to get you moving.

1. Find out the root cause of your low self-esteem.

Usually, the root comes from how they and their families interacted. Once you find out about where your low self-esteem comes from, you can now move on to the next step.

2. Go through the process of coming to terms with your inner conflicts.

When you learn how you became the insecure person that you are, go through the process of coming to terms with your inner conflicts. Face your fears head-on. Admitting and accepting that you are a wounded person is very important.

3. Decide not to live like a victim.

When you decide to start healing, now starts the real meat of the journey. You have to constantly decide not to live like a victim, to choose not to see that the world is out to offend you. Let the offenses slide; let the pain slide.

Just acknowledge that people have hurt or offended you, then move on and focus back to your life. Remember that how you perceive life is a matter of choosing the thoughts you subscribe to.

When you do decide to stop believing and living like a victim, reinforce it. Instead of telling yourself that you are ugly, or believing when your boss tells you how incompetent you are, confront yourself with the facts.

Does the mirror say you look like Quasimodo? For an objective assessment, find a friend who loves you and believes in you. Are you truly incompetent? Get a measurable yardstick. How much output can you make in a week? Does it confirm to your so-called “incompetence”?

This life is not meant to be lived in the dumps. Stick to reality, come to grips with the past, walk on, and succeed in breaking the chain of low self-esteem.

Gwyneth

Filed under Self Esteem | Tags: Productivity, Self Loathing

Overcoming Girl Teenagers Low Self Esteem

Posted by Janine on January 30th, 2010 | Comments Off

G.A.S.C.

If you are like every parent out there, you constantly worry about your children every day. When they are babies, you worry they are going to fall and get hurt. When they start school, are they going fit in, are they going to make friends, are they going to like school? They get to the age of 9 or 10 now you worry if they are fitting at school. They become a teenager and now the real worries start with them going out with friends, on a date and more. Drugs and alcohol are everywhere and you hope you did a good job raising them and they will make the right decision. One are that we don’t seem to worry about until a major situation arise before we worry about it is our teenagers suffering of Low Self Esteem.

As parents, we are so busy working 40-50 hours a week sometimes more that we don’t always see the signs. Low self esteem among teenagers is huge and very troubling. Here’s a few statistics that alarmed me extremely.

Girls with low self esteem are more likely to have sex at a young age. 50% of girls interviewed said they had sex by the time in they were in 9th grade some even earlier. The good stat is that 75% of girls of aged 9 say they like the way they look. That number drastically goes down to 56% by the age of 12 and 13. BY the age of nine, 50% of girls say they have been on a diet or are on a diet. Do you know that 7 million girls and women have an eating disorder and that 20% of women are bulimic in America? 33% of girls age 9-12 think they are overweight and that 60% of those same girls are on a diet. 57% of girls are fasting, on a diet or are smoking in order to lose weight. What is the result? Well, 50%-70% of girls with normal weight think they are overweight. They are also many other statistics on girls and teenagers who are suffering of low self esteem using drugs and alcohol.

As a parent, for me this is very alarming. These are real issues that we have to address but what can we do? What kind of help is there for overcoming low self esteem? The number one thing we can do is to make sure they know we love them and we provide them with affection. If they know we love them, then they will trust us and will be more likely to talk to us when a difficult situation in their like arise. As part of raising your children, you must instill 2 traits in your children. Make sure your children have people skills. People skills are not thought in school. They make sure your children know how to count, read and write. Look around you, may be your friends, people at work, who appear to be more successful in their life. Successful can be at work or their marriage. Is it Joe, in the corner who does not talk to anyone or Mary who can start a conversation with anyone at anytime. Is Brandi at work who always eats alone or Frank who is always helping and praising others? The answer is always the more outgoing person who is friendly and nice to everyone. By the way, when I say outgoing, I don’t mean the person next to you at work that just can’t shut up. I mean the person that can have conversation with anyone, that person.

The second item is character. Help your son or daughter build their character. Make them make the hard choices. Don’t let them get away with the occasional lying or unacceptable behavior. Make them understand in a positive way that there are consequences for not behaving correctly in today’s society and they will result in some sort of negative ways for them. Hold them accountable just like you think the society will hold them accountable so they are ready when they become an adult.

I would like to tell you it is easy but the reality is that if it was easy, they would not be 7 million girls out there suffering of low self esteem. Overcoming your girl teenager low self esteem is a very serious concern that all parents should have. Look for the low self esteem signs and address it. Do not ignore it, it will most likely not go away unless they get the help they need. There are some resources you can get that will help you deal with overcoming your teenager low self esteem.

To see some of those resources, visit http://www.squidoo.com/overcoming-low-self-esteem-tips

Tina

Filed under Self Esteem | Tags: Good Job, Signs

How to Build Self Confidence With Women

Posted by Janine on January 29th, 2010 | Comments Off

Dan Bacon

Let’s look at the personality trait that women are most attracted and interested in when it comes to men: Self Confidence.

Confident men are highly sought after by women. It is the most important thing that you need to develop, behind masculinity and status. If you want success with women & dating and want to have the dating power, then your top priority should be to build an unshakable level of self confidence.

Knowing how to start an interaction with a woman is very important, but if you aren’t confident you will find it very hard to get results. If you want your pick of beautiful women, then you will have to work on you first.

A beautiful woman knows that she can do much better than to settle for a meek, insecure man whom she’ll have to protect from the world. She knows that she deserves a confident, masculine and high-status man who will allow her to be a woman. To develop true confidence, you will need to:

a) Perfect Your Mindsets: Personally, I have replaced all of my ineffective mindsets with effective ones. For example: When I walk into a social environment, I no longer worry about what people are thinking, whether or not people will accept me or if beautiful women will find me attractive. I know that I will fit in. I know that people will accept me. I know that beautiful women will find me attractive.

b) Swim in The Shallow End First: If approaching women scares the beegezus out of you, start by talking to more women in retail stores. For example:

Female salesperson: Hi, how are you today?

You: I’m fantastic…about a 9/10 today…and you – how are you today?

Vibe with her response and then start chatting about what you did on the weekend, or what you’ve been up to lately ensuring that you periodically bring her into the conversation by asking her some questions on the topic. You: Yeah, so last weekend was pretty cool…went to ___ bar with some friends – you ever been there?

c) Be Prepared to Stick it Out: The reality is that your lack of self confidence is merely a habituated way of thinking and a well-formed habit can take months to change. If you don’t pay much attention to changing your mindsets or approaching women, then it may take years for you to develop true self confidence.

How serious you are about this area is your decision. Personally, I wish someone had introduced me to mindsets when I started because I would’ve gotten there years earlier. Things like thinking “Women want to be approached by guys” or “Women love it when I behave in confident and flirtatious ways around them” rather than “Does she like me?” or “What should I say, what should I say?”

How about guys who are confident with women. What is life like for guys who have the dating power? The fact is that the self confidence you display will determine how people behave around you. People take you at your own evaluation of yourself.

If so, why not walk into a new situation as the confident, cool guy? It’s up to you who you want to be. It is your life. You get to choose your personality and whether or not you will have self confidence in the situation. You get to choose whether or not you believe you should be with attractive women.

One of the things that confident guys do is they ‘pause’ during conversations and interactions. They take their time saying things when they choose to. Too often, guys who lack confidence rush to give their answer in fear that the other person may lose interest in the conversation. It’s a silly fear. Every now and then, you should pause before and during answering questions. It creates anticipation for your words and also allows you to display composure.

In environments where you see women that you want to meet, remember that the #1 thing they want to see from you is confidence. Not your looks, not your money or anything else. They are attracted to self confidence in guys, so if you can display it and be that guy – then the world’s your oyster.

Jenny

Filed under Self Esteem | Tags: Masculinity, Salesperson

Self Esteem