GregFrost


In this day and age, it is not surprising to see how pervasive low self esteem has become. In an age where girls and women alike suffer from some form of eating disorders brought on by issues with their self image, self esteem related problems have definitely become a major issue. In America alone, 20 percent of college women suffer from bulimia. This is the age where many feel the need to be slim and trim and beautiful in order to be accepted by society at large.

The truth is, low self esteem can be caused by a great number of things. Feelings of jealousy, envy, emotional insecurity, loneliness, guilt, and even self pity can contribute to low self esteem. Symptoms of low self esteem include denial, the inability to express one’s feelings, a heavy dependence on others to feel good about one’s self, blaming others for one’s misfortunes, and not having personal boundaries.

Low self esteem is really about not valuing or having high regard for one’s self. People suffering from low self esteem feel inferior, as though they are not in charge of their lives. They feel victimized, ostracized from society, and unimportant to everyone around them. Because it affects their subconscious, low self esteem is really a deep-seated phenomenon that has its origins in one’s formative years as a child, and is often not an easy problem to fix.

People suffering from self pity tend to be manipulative, using their belief of low self worth to get what they want out of other people. They become almost like parasites, clinging onto the good will of others and becoming dependent on them just to get through their lives. Obviously this would breed negativity in any sort of relationship. Similarly, jealousy can also cause negativity when used as a tool of manipulation.

Some might consider the heavy dependence on others a disease, but in all actuality, it is not by definition a disease. It is a condition affecting the emotional and behavioural aspects of a person that is developed over time and learned, and it affects one’s ability of having healthy relationships or any relationships to speak of. Symptoms of this condition include guilt when expressing honest thoughts, giving more than one receives, and suffering from emotional hurt easily when one’s effort is not seen as significant or even recognised.

The factors contributing to emotional insecurity include a lack of a healthy balance between work and family and one’s self, the fear of intimacy with loved ones, and needing some form of validation in life through drama.

Overcoming these symptoms of low self esteem is crucial if you are aiming to live a healthy, well-adjusted life as an adult. If you are unsure of what to do to improve your relationships with those around you and your feelings of insecurity and self worth, always seek help, from loved ones or even a healthcare professional. The number one mistake people tend to make is believing that they can overcome this problem alone. Low self esteem is a condition that is affecting millions around the world every single day, and recognising the symptoms will definitely go a long way in preventing and overcoming the condition.



Anne-Marie

Bob Urichuck


elf esteem is all you have - what are you worth? What is your self worth? How do you calculate it?

Your self worth is a combination of your self esteem, self confidence and self respect.

Self esteem is an internal sense of worth. It reflects an inner confidence and self-respect. Self esteem shines outwardly and is demonstrated by the actions one takes.

Your internal self worth, which consists of your self-esteem, self confidence and self respect, will become your external net worth.

When comparing individuals with a weak self esteem to those with a strong one, what are the obvious differences? Does it play a major role? Of course, it does.

Self esteem is the essence of a personality, and is reflected in ones self worth and net worth. Weak self esteem produces low self confidence and low self worth/net worth; whereas strong self esteem produces much more confidence in oneself and increases one’s self and net worth accordingly.

It all begins with your beliefs. What you believe to be true about yourself usually generates equivalent self worth, self confidence and self respect. Your beliefs determine your attitude which is a big part of self esteem.

Are you carrying appropriate beliefs about yourself, or are you still carrying a lot of negative baggage? If the latter still exists, get rid of it. You are an adult now and should be able to distinguish between fact and fiction. Get rid of the fiction.

Take control of your attitude and your mindset by ridding yourself of all those negative beliefs.

I believe we all came into this world as miracles and equal human beings regardless of race, religion, colour, nationality, sex, title or role.

However, your exposure to the outside world with respect to family, religion, education, politics, etc., has influenced your inside world or your true self esteem. You have created your own fears, limitations and boundaries based on what you allowed inside from the outside world. You have become your own worst enemy.

Overtime your personal perceptions have been altered. Your self esteem has diminished and your self worth suddenly has limitations. Your level of courage is no longer what it was when you were a child.

You need to go back and review your values as it relates to your self confidence. You need to remove some of the baggage that has been holding you back and contributing to your low self confidence and self respect. You need to boost your self esteem by acknowledging your worth and managing your emotions. Your self esteem portrays your values and affects the choices you make.

Simply by changing your internal thinking, you can reclaim your self confidence and self respect and strive for a level ten self respect as your standard. This is a level of self esteem from which to begin.

It is a known fact that if you don’t believe in yourself, no one else will either. How you feel about yourself, in particular your self esteem is reflected in your daily conversations, your body language and your abilities. You are responsible for your destiny and anything is possible with high quality self respect.

Your self esteem, like your attitude, is within your control. Discipline yourself to take control of that most important person in the world. You are the all inclusive package of self confidence and self respect. All three attributes equal your self worth and in turn, your self worth will translate externally into your net worth.

What is self esteem worth to you?

Taylor

Michael McGrath


If we want to attain any goal, achieve any aim or reach any objective we all know that we need a large amount of confidence. We need confidence in ourselves, the plan we are using and our own abilities to work that plan. However, self confidence is merely a by-product of high self esteem but do we really know what that is or how to get it?

Self esteem begins with a positive self-image. This involves holding a balanced yet loving, approving and healthy self-view. However, it is not arrogance nor is it narcissism. True self esteem gives us a balanced realistic appreciation for our own talents. It allows us honest introspection of our strengths and a complete acceptance of our human limitations. High self esteem is a reflection of the true value in which you hold yourself. It also frees you from any overtly polarised view of others and how you perceive they think of you.

Individuals with high self esteem have a strong sense of themselves. They know who they are and what they want. They have a realistic world view of others and themselves. Their self-image is positive but also very rational.

However, do not think that people with high self esteem always feel great and proud of themselves. Self esteem is about having a balanced view of yourself. Everyone makes mistakes and people with high self-esteem are no exception. They also behave in ways or make decisions that they later wish they hadn’t. The key difference with these people is that they recover quickly make the changes they need to make, apologize for their behaviour where necessary and learn from the experience. Individuals who have developed a healthy degree of self-esteem are able to use these situations as a form of feedback and learn from them. It is alright to feel bad about their behaviour and make atonement for it but they do not let it effect their entire sense of identity nor do they carry it with them as emotional baggage.

If you are rude or aggressive with a person it doesn’t mean you are a terrible person or should be punished in some way. People with high self esteem are aware of this. These people are capable to taking full responsibility for their behaviour, admitting that it was undesirable. They will then try to make the situation “right” before they learn from it and put it behind them. They do not see themselves as bad people, just a good person that made a bad mistake. However, people with low self esteem tend to pile blame on themselves and think themselves unworthy and unlovable because they are “so bad” and “so unworthy and worthless”. They think because they have behaved badly it is a reflection of the total person they are when, in fact, it is only one portion of the complex personality they have. If you have high self esteem and you exhibit behaviour you yourself don’t like you tend to work on the problem until you either eradicate it or reverse it. People with high self esteem can do this relatively easily because they don’t see a change in one aspect of their character as an assault on their whole personality! So they can still have self criticism but also have high self-esteem at the same time.

A key to being in this mental and emotional state is to avoid generalising about mistakes made by ourselves and others, recognising that our weaknesses are part of who we are, while recognising that some of our behaviour can be changed without it affecting our sense of identity!

So start to see yourself as those who love you see you. Ask them what they think. Ask them to be realistic and to point out your good characteristics. Then take stock of yourself and start to believe in yourself. You can develop the skills needed to be critical of yourself, in order to learn and grow, while at the same time realizing that you are a unique, special, loving yet slightly flawed child of the Universe. You are wonderful. Accept that!



Sean

Patricia Weber


ffer from low or no confidence, or whatever your self-confidence indicator may be, this can translate to something minor or major which leads to low sales. Just as cars have become more sophisticated with warning lights, a salesperson who is in tune with their own kind of indicator systems will know when their confidence is low. Low or no self-confidence can be disguised as procrastination, negative self-talk, or the three sister words in conversations: would have, could have, and should have.

Procrastination may be an indicator of confidence in particular if you know what to do, how long it takes and can probably teach someone else! Like a brake light indicator being a warning that brakes aren’t working properly, procrastination is also a warning. Why do you procrastinate? Is it because you are new in sales and don’t yet understand how to break the sales process down? Or do you know what to do, but have a more serious system indicator light, like fear, that may be deep routed in a limiting belief? To start to get over procrastination, first determine if it is a warning (you are still learning the process) or a system malfunction light (you have a limiting belief).

Your self-talk can be a warning indicator light that your confidence is about to steer you off course. Like a seat belt warning, this kind of indicator light usually points to one thing and is usually temporary. After a long annoying chime, the seat belt indicator turns off if you fasten your seatbelt or wait long enough for the noise to cease. Because we have so much negative self-talk inside us we may be immune to the sound, not hear it or just move on autopilot not thinking anything of it. The key to get back on track with your self-confidence to sell is to stop, listen and redirect your self-talk. Replace the negative with positive at every chance. If you find it difficult to zero in on your self-talk, then pay attention to your feelings. Law of Attraction teachers say our feelings let us know when we are off course.

Our language patterns and how much we use “would have,” “could have,” and “should have” in our conversations in and out of self-talk can be a serious malfunction indicator. Negative language patterns like this are indicators usually more encompassing and serious like a car’s engine light. Who knows where the problem is until you take your car in for service? Our language patterns and how much we use “would have,” “could have,” and “should have” in our conversations outside of self-talk can mean our belief system is limiting our ability to maintain our confidence. If you have found you have tried many repairs to your self-confidence, but it still shows up in a whiny “would have,” “could have,” and “should have,” consider a coach. Coaches can usually more easily diagnose your situation and have longer lasting tools available to correct your problems.

These first three self-confidence indicators: procrastination, negative self-talk, and the three sister words, can keep your sales at a standstill or worse, subtly sabotage increased results for salespeople. Try all mental, emotional and behavioral strategies until you find your personal effective formula for shutting them off. In my next article you’ll learn where other times self-confidence shows up in lack of follow up, feeling like an imposter or somehow fearful in giving presentations, networking, or even asking for an order.



David

Rebecca Prescott


Low self esteem is often a problem with acne sufferers, especially those whose acne first appeared during their teen years. At this age, we are most influenced by our peers. Their opinions, and thoughts, tend to matter more, as it is with our friends (and ‘enemies’) that we begin to define a clearer sense of our own identity.

Our society places a great emphasis on ideals of physical perfection. This ideal demonstrates not only a slim figure, but perfect skin. It is only natural that this is reflected, even if subconsciously, in the way we think about ourselves, and the way we believe others measure us.

Having acne, particularly moderate to severe cases, can have an effect on our confidence, and self belief. We can become so preoccupied with our own acne, imperfections, or shortcomings (compared to this ideal), that we come to judge ourselves as something like second class. So when we meet people, when we encounter new situations, new environments, or members of the opposite sex, we may hold ourselves back. Our manner will reflect this lack of self belief. And if others pick up on this, in the non-verbal way we convey so much, and subconsciously react to it, it can seem like we were ‘right all along’ with regards any negative dialogue the mind throws at us.

Acne sufferers with low self esteem may have some of these characteristics:

overly concerned with the image that other people see of them withdrawing from challenges blaming everything on themselves not willing to take on responsibilities lack of confidence emotional confusion mental confusion depression anxiety

So, what can you do about low self esteem?

Central to the process, is changing the ideas, or filters, that we are viewing ourselves (and the world) with. But before you can change these, you have to become aware of them. So many of our thoughts and beliefs run on auto pilot. Something happens, and we react to it. The first thing we need to do is notice what situation, comment, or other catalyst, is causing us to react. Over time, a pattern will emerge.

Once we begin to be more self aware around this, we can start to take action when this program emerges. Instead of passively letting the negative self-talk continue, we can say to ourselves, ‘Okay, this may not actually be true, no matter what my emotions are telling me right now.’

Resisting the pull of our emotions, we can start to look at something, both in our lives or ourselves, that we feel gratitude for. It can be as simple as hearing a great song on the radio, or just enjoying the sun that day. The more we cultivate a sense of gratitude for what is in our life, and us, the more we can free ourselves from any ‘inner tyrants’ we may have. If we start to see beyond our skin, to the many good qualities and talents we have, we will no longer be defining ourselves by what we feel is a limitation, or fault.



Wayne