What is the difference between being practical and having low-self esteem?
Americannah
Example: I’m overweight, and because of this, I don’t even try flirting with or wasting my time on guys who are preppy because common sense has shown me what they like. However, when I tried explaining this to my friend she doesn’t seem to get it and keeps insisting I have low-self esteem, but I disagree.
Example: I’m overweight, and because of this, I don’t even try flirting with or wasting my time on guys who are preppy because common sense has shown me what they like. However, when I tried explaining this to my friend she doesn’t seem to get it and keeps insisting I have low-self esteem, but I disagree.
So what is the difference between being negative (or having low-self esteem) and being practical?
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Tags: Common Sense, Wasting My Time
May 23rd, 2009 at 2:50 am
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you would be practical if your estimate is accurate. if would have low-self esteem if you’re under-estimating yourself.
May 25th, 2009 at 6:18 am
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Good question. It’s kind of like what is the difference in having a high self esteem and being arrogant. I think it’s all about balance and common sense. Everyone has strengths and faults and the balance is in recognizing what those strengths and faults are. Then you can decide what to do with them.
May 27th, 2009 at 1:49 am
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I think you’re basically avoiding situations you don’t like. I see it as neither negative or positive, but practical, as you say. However, while telling her, you made it sound like you already felt rejected. So she’s interpreting this as low self-esteem. The solution here is to describe it differently, e.g., “I’m not going to waste my time with preppy guys because frankly, I’m not into that type.”
May 29th, 2009 at 9:12 pm
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yes, that is called “settling” and it is a definite sign of low self-esteem. if “preppy” is what you idealize or desire but feel youre not up to par, then its not practicality at all. practical is not blowing your entire paycheck on a pair of shoes. dont lose sight of yourself!
June 2nd, 2009 at 6:34 am
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Throw practical out the window. You are confusing it with something all together different. Now start with flirting, throw that out with practical. Now you have a starting point. You are never waisting your time by socializing with another being. Being social will lead to friendships and in time associations with other people. Don’t set your sights on one individual, pretty much what you see is the public act and not the real person. Collect a circle of friends and contacts and get to know them all. You may find that preppy is not for you anyhow. Don’t shut your own door, if someone else shuts it they are probably not worth it. Good luck.
June 3rd, 2009 at 7:04 am
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I would substitute “being realistic” for “being practical.”
Just between us, my experience with what I refer to as “breed standard” women, particularly conventionally beautiful women, is that paradoxically, they tend to have shallow personalities. If a girl learns, at age 4 or 5, that all she needs to get what she wants from a guy is to smile and giggle, she will rarely learn to develop a personality or any deeper social skills.
Occasionally, I have asked a really beautiful woman, “Do you mind if I ask you a personal question?” If no, then, “Does it ever get in your way, being that beautiful?”
Sometimes they say something like, “Yes, other women shun me because they assume I’m stuck up.” Or, “Men sometimes do really goody things to get my attention.”
Similarly, preppy types are AWFULLY shallow, especially ones with athletic skills. I call them the “one millimeters” because it describes the depth of their personalities.
If that’s a rationalization, I’ll cop a plea. Rationalizations are more important than sex. I mean, have you ever gone a week without rationalizing?
Low self esteem means about the same as what we used to call “lacking self-respect.” It means that you won’t attempt anything. In order for me to try for a prize, I need to know that the prize is worth working for.
I’m pretty sure that the last paragraph is what you’re looking for.