Posts Tagged ‘Contrary’

Self Confidence and Feeling Your Own Worth

Jon Mercer


Unfortunately, a lot of people are raised to not have much self confidence. Their parents are misguided, both when it comes to knowing the difference between self confidence and conceitedness, and when it comes to the importance of feeling confident in yourself.

I’m not sure exactly where the idea came from, but a lot of the earlier generations were brought up with the idea that people are naturally bad and that any signs of self confidence or even self like must be nipped in the bud.

I know these parents don’t mean to hurt their children; there is no goal that there children should suffer in the future. In fact, the contrary is the case; these parents believe that their children will grow up to be bad people if they have self confidence. At the end of the day, as much as intention plays a role, it doesn’t change that fact that these parents are harming their children and making it much harder for them to live happy healthy lives.

Luckily, a lot of these attitudes are going out with the older generation. More and more parents are realizing that the best thing they can do for their children is to install a good strong sense of self.

The foundation of a strong self confidence is built in childhood. Tat doesn’t mean that if you didn’t grow up feeling confident, you never will, but it means that it is easier to feel confident as an adult if you learnt to feel good about yourself as a child.

New research shows us that not only does a healthy sense of self confidence help us with our personal relationships and overall happiness; it also helps us with our careers and financial success.

Feeling good about yourself doesn’t mean that you think you are better than other people; it means that you are content with who you are and believing in your own ability.

Don’t confuse arrogance with confidence. You sometimes hear someone referred to as “overly confident”, but I don’t believe there is such a thing. A strong and healthy self confidence is based in love for yourself, while arrogance is based in fear.

People who are very arrogant and feel the need to put others down are in the competitive mindset. The need to compete with and beat other people is based on insecurity. People who genuinely like themselves don’t feel the need to show their superiority to others; their self confidence allows them to co exist with others and appreciate their talents and uniqueness rather than feel threatened by it.

Building a strong sense of self always comes from within. There might be exterior situations that affect how you feel about yourself, but for the most part, if you are happy with who you are, you will be better able to deal with what goes on around you without letting it bring you down.

If you were programmed to think that you weren’t worth much as a child, it is up to you to do something about it. We can not choose our childhoods, but we can choose how we choose to deal with them.



Kylie

How do you help someone with low self esteem?

lotsofcoffee


This person has distanced herself from family (over several years), her husband (they are separated) and his family and many friends and blames others for her problems. Including a husband who (she says) cant do anything right. She has continued cosmetic surgery over the past five years breast reduction, weight, and tucks, finding fault in her looks. On the contrary she is extremely attractive and intelligent. Her low self esteem has manifest itself almost into a false conceit, or maybe a false confidence. How do you get someone help or can point these things out.

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