Ronen David


Self esteem is how a person feels about themselves. Most of the time we can be our own worst critics. Not feeling good about how you look or your personality can lead to anxiety when you are in a group. You may be shy and reserved even though you want to talk to other people. Having self esteem doesn’t mean you are always confident or that you think you are better than others. It just means you have accepted who you are and you are willing to live with it.

Having self esteem doesn’t just happen, it is a process. Many people go through an awkward stage during adolescence. It can be hard to like yourself when you are always comparing yourself to your peers. It can be difficult to be an individual when to be popular you have to be like everyone else. Yet life isn’t always like high school and that will pass. Yet at the time this is a very important time in a child’s life. Parents need to remember what that was like so they can offer support.

Parents need to realize how important self esteem is. Teaching children from an early age to find good qualities in themselves is important. It will allow them to be happier and healthier individuals. A poor self esteem can affect a person in many ways. They may decide to drop out of school or have a hard time keeping a job. They may withdraw from other people and turn to vices such as drugs or alcohol to feel comfortable around others.

There has been a great deal of information in recent years to link poor self esteem to those with depression. Counseling is often a very effective tool in order to help with this. Changing behaviors and seeing yourself as others do is the first step of developing your self esteem. Relationships can be detrimental at times to a person’s self esteem as well.

For example they may have a partner that calls them names and tells them they are stupid. They may get the impression from them that no one else will ever want them. Over a period of time they come to believe this. The self esteem a person has is very important to their overall happiness and mental stability.

Many experts have the believe that a poor self esteem is directly connected to depression. This is due to the various assessments that are completed in mental health establishments. It is often the poor self esteem that leads a person to withdraw from various types of social situations.

It can also allow them to self destruct various types of relationships. They may not believe that someone so great would actually care about them so they end the relationship. They may continue to push that person away until they decide to leave them. That scenario though tends to just reinforce their belief that they aren’t good enough for anyone.

There is a substantial amount of information out there to indicate that the reason so many adolescents in our society suffer from depression is due to their poor self esteem. This is why so many health classes in junior high and high school cover self esteem. They also do various types of activities in order to help students get a better image of themselves. Youths tend to classify themselves by how others see them or how they perceive that others see them.

Many adolescents simply aren’t ready for the transitions that will occur. Even a jump from junior high to high school can affect them. In junior high they are an upper classman and have their friends around them. When they enter high school though they are the new kid on the block. Many of their old friends are now scattered and they have to struggle to assess their own identity.

Adults can also suffer from poor self esteem and depression. Yet the fact that most bouts with depression start out in adolescents make sense. Research on groups of adults with depression have found that when they are feel negative about themselves is when the depression is at its worst.

Due to the correlation between self esteem issues and depression, many doctors and mental health professionals now require therapy. They don’t want to just give the individual some medication to take. The combination of medication and therapy really seems to help them to reduce the effects of depression and to improve their self esteem.



Carlos

Dave Brandley


Developing Positive Self Esteem In Children

We hear from all the professionals how key a good self esteem in childhood can be, and there are undoubtedly a great deal of opinions about how to accomplish it. It’s a significant part of being a parent, and parents play an important role in helping to promote a good and healthy self esteem in their kids. For the most part, self esteem is learned, and a lot of that learning will happen at home while in childhood.

Contrary to what many parents might assume, a positive self esteem doesn’t make a child overly vain or self centered. Kids who’ve been taught to build their self esteem correctly aren’t going to become spoiled or selfish as a result. A healthy and positive self worth fosters self love, self confidence and awareness that is appropriate to becoming the basis for a child to move toward advancement and progression in adulthood.

There is no definitive answer in children, that’s obvious. No child is exactly like the next, and each of them will respond to things differently. With that in mind, low self esteem in your children could lead to them having a hard time making friends, become easily frustrated and angry, frequently put those around them down, and even show signs they have difficulty problem solving.

kids with a low self worth can lack the resolve to try out new things and often get stalled believing they can’t make improvements, move on, or find new opportunities.

It is important to understand that children are not going to always feel good about themselves or have a high self worth in each situation or circumstance. Merely because of human nature, young children may feel accepted and confident in one moment, and totally different the next. Kids just won’t suddenly have a healthy and positive self esteem, and as parents, it’s vital that we continually use the resources and tools available in order to develop and cultivate it.

The part that parents have in fortifying their young children’s self esteem and worth can be successful basically by doing rather easy things. Things like respecting who they are, listening to them and taking them seriously, and showing them appreciation.

Allow children real responsibilities. Permit them to be in charge of something–even if it’s just making their own bed every morning. The idea that they are being depended on, and that they can honestly contribute, can help to nurture a self esteem and self worth in a favorable direction.

Be sure that your children realize that they are good and they’re loved unconditionally. Remember that their worth should not be dependent on performance. Help them see that setbacks can be opportunities, and make certain that it’s something that you believe too.

Provide your children with the opportunity to make decisions. By encouraging choice making when they’re young, parents can better prepare young children for the harder decisions they must make as they grow older. Having discussions and talks about choices and their consequences can help your child to develop a strong self esteem about their capability to make good decisions.

Spend some good, quality one on one time with each of your children. Be sure that the attention you give to them at that time is undivided, but know that it doesn’t always acquire to be something elaborate or even planned. Whether it’s throwing a football or talking in the car on the way to the store, that time can help to build a positive self esteem.

There are several tools that are around to help you to show your children how great it is to be them. There are excellent self esteem games such as Reach For The Stars, with well thought out and positive activities that will reinforce that message in a intriguing and fun way. At http://www.reachforthestarsgame.com, we understand that you love your kids because we love our own.

Sara Healy


After a rather difficult day during a hectic week, I decided to have a “comfort” evening. For me, this means crawling into my oldest most comfortable pajamas, fixing a favorite meal, and watching a well- loved movie. My choice this time was Bridget Jones’s Diary as it always makes me laugh and I think Colin Firth is a real hunk.

I have a favorite scene. It’s where Bridget gets stuck eating dinner with a group of friends, most of whom are married. They give her a hard time about being single. As she gets ready to leave, Mark Darcy (Colin Firth) comes down the stairs and bumbles through a speech about how he likes her even though he shouldn’t. Their conversation is pure “Pride and Prejudice,” but one line he says always brings tears to my eyes.

He says to Bridget, “I like you just the way you are.”

When I hear this line, I always think it is the best pick up line there ever was. Every man should memorize it. I told this to my boyfriend and laughingly said he needed to say this to me more often. He smiled a mischievous grin and said, “This is a line you need to say to yourself more often.”

He’s a wise man, that boyfriend of mine and so right! As a great believer in the power of affirmations, I decided that every morning when I get up and look in the mirror, I will say “I like ME just the way I am!”

I’ve been practicing this affirmation for quite awhile and I have found it helpful. I admit there are days when I look in the mirror and it is really hard to get the affirmation out. But I’ve learned to make myself say it with gusto, even if it makes me laugh.

If you struggle with self-confidence, why not try this. It can’t hurt. Say it right now “I like ME just the way I am!” Okay, now say it again with even more feeling. Keep saying it over and over until you feel the power of these eight little words.

It’s okay not to believe these words right away. I know I struggle with it sometimes. I think it’s because it takes time to quiet those old voices, who like Bridget’s married friends, like to remind us of where we fall short. But I really believe if we just keep repeating the phrase, eventually we will convince our minds to believe it.

And there is scientific evidence that supports this. Evidently, you really can teach your mind to believe something you say over and over again. Then again, this ought to make sense. Many of us learned the negative things we believe about ourselves because someone told them to us over and over again. So, why wouldn’t positive affirmations work?

I plan to keep practicing these eight little words and I encourage you to give them a try, as well. Who knows you may find your self-confidence begins to grow the more you repeat the words! For my part, I will get up tomorrow morning, look in the mirror at my squashed hair, sleep wrinkled face and say “I like ME just the way I am!”

It’s the best pick ME up line there ever was!