Dan Bacon


Let’s look at the personality trait that women are most attracted and interested in when it comes to men: Self Confidence.

Confident men are highly sought after by women. It is the most important thing that you need to develop, behind masculinity and status. If you want success with women & dating and want to have the dating power, then your top priority should be to build an unshakable level of self confidence.

Knowing how to start an interaction with a woman is very important, but if you aren’t confident you will find it very hard to get results. If you want your pick of beautiful women, then you will have to work on you first.

A beautiful woman knows that she can do much better than to settle for a meek, insecure man whom she’ll have to protect from the world. She knows that she deserves a confident, masculine and high-status man who will allow her to be a woman. To develop true confidence, you will need to:

a) Perfect Your Mindsets: Personally, I have replaced all of my ineffective mindsets with effective ones. For example: When I walk into a social environment, I no longer worry about what people are thinking, whether or not people will accept me or if beautiful women will find me attractive. I know that I will fit in. I know that people will accept me. I know that beautiful women will find me attractive.

b) Swim in The Shallow End First: If approaching women scares the beegezus out of you, start by talking to more women in retail stores. For example:

Female salesperson: Hi, how are you today?

You: I’m fantastic…about a 9/10 today…and you - how are you today?

Vibe with her response and then start chatting about what you did on the weekend, or what you’ve been up to lately ensuring that you periodically bring her into the conversation by asking her some questions on the topic. You: Yeah, so last weekend was pretty cool…went to ___ bar with some friends - you ever been there?

c) Be Prepared to Stick it Out: The reality is that your lack of self confidence is merely a habituated way of thinking and a well-formed habit can take months to change. If you don’t pay much attention to changing your mindsets or approaching women, then it may take years for you to develop true self confidence.

How serious you are about this area is your decision. Personally, I wish someone had introduced me to mindsets when I started because I would’ve gotten there years earlier. Things like thinking “Women want to be approached by guys” or “Women love it when I behave in confident and flirtatious ways around them” rather than “Does she like me?” or “What should I say, what should I say?”

How about guys who are confident with women. What is life like for guys who have the dating power? The fact is that the self confidence you display will determine how people behave around you. People take you at your own evaluation of yourself.

If so, why not walk into a new situation as the confident, cool guy? It’s up to you who you want to be. It is your life. You get to choose your personality and whether or not you will have self confidence in the situation. You get to choose whether or not you believe you should be with attractive women.

One of the things that confident guys do is they ‘pause’ during conversations and interactions. They take their time saying things when they choose to. Too often, guys who lack confidence rush to give their answer in fear that the other person may lose interest in the conversation. It’s a silly fear. Every now and then, you should pause before and during answering questions. It creates anticipation for your words and also allows you to display composure.

In environments where you see women that you want to meet, remember that the #1 thing they want to see from you is confidence. Not your looks, not your money or anything else. They are attracted to self confidence in guys, so if you can display it and be that guy - then the world’s your oyster.



Jenny

Patricia Weber


ffer from low or no confidence, or whatever your self-confidence indicator may be, this can translate to something minor or major which leads to low sales. Just as cars have become more sophisticated with warning lights, a salesperson who is in tune with their own kind of indicator systems will know when their confidence is low. Low or no self-confidence can be disguised as procrastination, negative self-talk, or the three sister words in conversations: would have, could have, and should have.

Procrastination may be an indicator of confidence in particular if you know what to do, how long it takes and can probably teach someone else! Like a brake light indicator being a warning that brakes aren’t working properly, procrastination is also a warning. Why do you procrastinate? Is it because you are new in sales and don’t yet understand how to break the sales process down? Or do you know what to do, but have a more serious system indicator light, like fear, that may be deep routed in a limiting belief? To start to get over procrastination, first determine if it is a warning (you are still learning the process) or a system malfunction light (you have a limiting belief).

Your self-talk can be a warning indicator light that your confidence is about to steer you off course. Like a seat belt warning, this kind of indicator light usually points to one thing and is usually temporary. After a long annoying chime, the seat belt indicator turns off if you fasten your seatbelt or wait long enough for the noise to cease. Because we have so much negative self-talk inside us we may be immune to the sound, not hear it or just move on autopilot not thinking anything of it. The key to get back on track with your self-confidence to sell is to stop, listen and redirect your self-talk. Replace the negative with positive at every chance. If you find it difficult to zero in on your self-talk, then pay attention to your feelings. Law of Attraction teachers say our feelings let us know when we are off course.

Our language patterns and how much we use “would have,” “could have,” and “should have” in our conversations in and out of self-talk can be a serious malfunction indicator. Negative language patterns like this are indicators usually more encompassing and serious like a car’s engine light. Who knows where the problem is until you take your car in for service? Our language patterns and how much we use “would have,” “could have,” and “should have” in our conversations outside of self-talk can mean our belief system is limiting our ability to maintain our confidence. If you have found you have tried many repairs to your self-confidence, but it still shows up in a whiny “would have,” “could have,” and “should have,” consider a coach. Coaches can usually more easily diagnose your situation and have longer lasting tools available to correct your problems.

These first three self-confidence indicators: procrastination, negative self-talk, and the three sister words, can keep your sales at a standstill or worse, subtly sabotage increased results for salespeople. Try all mental, emotional and behavioral strategies until you find your personal effective formula for shutting them off. In my next article you’ll learn where other times self-confidence shows up in lack of follow up, feeling like an imposter or somehow fearful in giving presentations, networking, or even asking for an order.



David