Self Confidence « Self Esteem

Posts Tagged ‘Self Confidence’

How can i boost my self-esteem and my confidence?

Posted by Janine on March 7th, 2010 | 5 Comments »

imluvinit

I have always been shy and i want to avoid the habit of needing other peoples compliments to make me feel better about myself. What can i do to boost my self-esteem and be more confident with myself?

Making Friends

Filed under Self Esteem | Tags: Self Confidence, Self Esteem

Personal Development Starts With Self Esteem

Posted by Janine on January 23rd, 2010 | Comments Off

Michael McGrath

If we want to attain any goal, achieve any aim or reach any objective we all know that we need a large amount of confidence. We need confidence in ourselves, the plan we are using and our own abilities to work that plan. However, self confidence is merely a by-product of high self esteem but do we really know what that is or how to get it?

Self esteem begins with a positive self-image. This involves holding a balanced yet loving, approving and healthy self-view. However, it is not arrogance nor is it narcissism. True self esteem gives us a balanced realistic appreciation for our own talents. It allows us honest introspection of our strengths and a complete acceptance of our human limitations. High self esteem is a reflection of the true value in which you hold yourself. It also frees you from any overtly polarised view of others and how you perceive they think of you.

Individuals with high self esteem have a strong sense of themselves. They know who they are and what they want. They have a realistic world view of others and themselves. Their self-image is positive but also very rational.

However, do not think that people with high self esteem always feel great and proud of themselves. Self esteem is about having a balanced view of yourself. Everyone makes mistakes and people with high self-esteem are no exception. They also behave in ways or make decisions that they later wish they hadn’t. The key difference with these people is that they recover quickly make the changes they need to make, apologize for their behaviour where necessary and learn from the experience. Individuals who have developed a healthy degree of self-esteem are able to use these situations as a form of feedback and learn from them. It is alright to feel bad about their behaviour and make atonement for it but they do not let it effect their entire sense of identity nor do they carry it with them as emotional baggage.

If you are rude or aggressive with a person it doesn’t mean you are a terrible person or should be punished in some way. People with high self esteem are aware of this. These people are capable to taking full responsibility for their behaviour, admitting that it was undesirable. They will then try to make the situation “right” before they learn from it and put it behind them. They do not see themselves as bad people, just a good person that made a bad mistake. However, people with low self esteem tend to pile blame on themselves and think themselves unworthy and unlovable because they are “so bad” and “so unworthy and worthless”. They think because they have behaved badly it is a reflection of the total person they are when, in fact, it is only one portion of the complex personality they have. If you have high self esteem and you exhibit behaviour you yourself don’t like you tend to work on the problem until you either eradicate it or reverse it. People with high self esteem can do this relatively easily because they don’t see a change in one aspect of their character as an assault on their whole personality! So they can still have self criticism but also have high self-esteem at the same time.

A key to being in this mental and emotional state is to avoid generalising about mistakes made by ourselves and others, recognising that our weaknesses are part of who we are, while recognising that some of our behaviour can be changed without it affecting our sense of identity!

So start to see yourself as those who love you see you. Ask them what they think. Ask them to be realistic and to point out your good characteristics. Then take stock of yourself and start to believe in yourself. You can develop the skills needed to be critical of yourself, in order to learn and grow, while at the same time realizing that you are a unique, special, loving yet slightly flawed child of the Universe. You are wonderful. Accept that!

Sean

Filed under Self Esteem | Tags: Arrogance, Self Confidence

Signs of Low Self Esteem

Posted by Janine on January 18th, 2010 | Comments Off

Debby Smith

Negative comments and negative opinions are something every one of us encounters often. People with higher levels of self esteem take these things with a positive attitude wile people with low self esteem cannot withstand negative comments. Low esteem should be identified at the right time and steps should be taken to boost self esteem. Being highly sensitive, adolescent people are more susceptible to low self esteem. Here are a few signs to spot people with low self esteem:

Change in the way of communicating and walking – People with low self esteem will not have the confidence to make direct eye contact. These people will start walking with their heads down. Since they lack self confidence, they will naturally feel down.

Depression and Isolation – Anybody who is feeling bad about himself will be very depressed and prefer to stay aloof. This sign can be seen with everybody who is getting negative comments. People with low self esteem will not be able to perform well in their job and hence they will get more and more negative comments leading them to a state of depression. This will prevent them from mingling with others and hence they separate themselves.

Erratic mood swings – Low self esteem affects mental stabilities and people will become angry very often when they don’t trust themselves. Sometimes, they don’t accept their compliments as well. If someone pinpoints the mistakes in a friendly manner, the person with low self esteem will not be able to accept the mistakes and starts yelling.

Negative self analysis and apologies – These are very common signs of low self esteem. If you find anybody putting low marks for their character and behavior then understand that they have low self esteem. Apologies like ‘I am sorry..’, ‘I can’t’ will not come out from the mouth of a person having high self esteem. If you find yourself seeking apologies quite often, then beware that you are lacking somewhere and you have to take immediate steps.

Fear of taking risks – People who are not confident in themselves will fear to take risks. Without taking risks, success cannot be achieved and with low self esteem, you will not be ready to take risks because of previous failures. If you find yourself that you are not ready to take even minimal risks, then it is time for you to improve your self esteem and identify your inner potentials.

Jay

Filed under Self Esteem | Tags: Self Confidence, Wile

The Magic of Self Confidence

Posted by Janine on December 24th, 2009 | Comments Off

John Dashfield

When times are tough and uncertain one of the most important qualities that will get you through is self-confidence. Have you noticed that people who feel confident about themselves and the future seem to get so much more out of life? Is accessing your own inner confidence more easily and often something you would like to do?

I’ve heard it said before that a lack of self-confidence is the basis of all under-achievement. Often, a lack of self-confidence causes people to doubt themselves, which results in a pessimistic outlook on life. When you access those feelings of confidence and self-assurance it becomes far easier to look to the future with optimism and enjoy life in the present, doesn’t it?

When it comes to your goals, a strong belief that you can, and will accomplish them will make all the difference.

Before we talk more about how to feel more confident let’s get clear on what the rewards are. I don’t know specifically what it is that you desire but the kind of outcomes that many people enjoy could be:

More success in your career or business More money A healthier immune system Feeling enthusiastic Being Happier and more fulfilled Better relationships Greater willingness to try new things

What are some of the ways that greater self-confidence would make a huge difference in your life? What would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail?

Self confidence is for anyone

While there’s no doubt that some people seem to have natural self confidence in abundance it’s something that can be both learned and earned through approaching life in a certain way:

It’s important to get on your own path in life and do what’s right for you. This means living in accordance with your own deepest desires, core values, and what makes you happy rather than living the expectations of other people.

Do what you’re good at. You’re far more likely to fulfil your potential when you do what comes naturally to you and where your interest is drawn. Accept that there are some things that you’ll never be that great at and let go of the need to be good at everything.

Earn confidence it by overcoming challenges and obstacles. This means both internally, in your mind, and externally in the outside world. As you transcend fears, anxieties, and moments of doubt you feel good about yourself.

Love yourself. Not in a way where you think you’re above others but by valuing yourself and your uniqueness. Stop comparing yourself to others and become entirely comfortable with who you are.

Take action. Stop thinking too much and do something. Nothing is more motivational than getting stuck in and doing something rather then waiting for the ‘right time’ or when you ‘feel right’.

Train your own psychology to support you by learning to interrupt and replace any negative patterning. Read books about self development and inspirational people. Listen to audios in the car or when travelling. Go to seminars to learn more. Get a coach. Do what builds your energy rather than drains it.

Avoid taking yourself too seriously. Be able to laugh at yourself and remember that in the big picture few things are that important.

Now imagine going through life with high confidence. Imagine seeing, hearing, feeling and knowing that you are, right now, in absolutely the right place on your journey. Create that deep inner certainty that you can, and you will handle anything that comes your way and leave the past behind…now…how good does that feel?

Written by John Dashfield

Dashfield Coaching and Development

www.dashfield.com

We help business owners make more money with less effort

Wayne

Filed under Self Esteem | Tags: Money, Self Confidence

Self Confidence – the 4 Power Secrets

Posted by Janine on October 29th, 2009 | Comments Off

Peter Murphy

Self confidence is something that many people struggle with. Society has built up certain guidelines on how one should look and act. If we do not live up to societies expectations then we feel a lack of self confidence.

For some people this lack of self confidence effects every aspect of their life. That is why learning to build your own self confidence is important.

The following section explains some reasons why someone may lack self confidence and what to do about them.

1. We are hard on ourselves.

This means that we compare ourselves to others or expect too much from ourselves. It is easy to expect yourself to be something, but sometimes we use impossible standards.

For example, not everyone can look like a super model, so it is useless to expect yourself to be one. This also includes being mad at yourself for simple things.

Some people kick themselves for small mistakes because they expect perfection. Letting go of these expectations will go a long way in learning to have self confidence.

2. We are negative.

Thinking negative thoughts and displaying negative attitudes make us a negative person. Most people can pick up on this and do their best to avoid you. This only leads to poor self confidence.

If you can learn to see the good in things and try to do positive things in your life you will feel better about yourself and in return boost your self confidence.

3. We focus on what we can not do.

Focusing on what you can not do only makes you feel bad about yourself. Instead try to find out what you are good at and excel at it.

This gives you a reason to be proud of yourself and also gives you a reason to go out and meet people that feel the same way. You can gain much self confidence by being proud of your accomplishments.

4. We hate our body.

Recognize that everyone looks different. Even identical twins have something about them that is different. Being different makes us each unique and special. So be happy you do not look like everyone else.

If there is something your really do not like about yourself then change it. Lose weight, get your hair colored or get braces – whatever will make you love yourself.

These four simple things can go a long way to boosting your self confidence. The main key to self confidence is learning to love yourself. If you love yourself then you can be open to others and love them.

Self confidence is basically about being positive and accepting about everyone and everything – including yourself.

Paddy

Filed under Self Esteem | Tags: Identical Twins, Self Confidence

Self Esteem